Social Media: Do You Still Trust Your Friends?
Social media, is the internet based social interaction. Social media allows the interaction of people who are miles, states, countries, and even continents away from each other. While it wasn’t the first social media site to launch, there isn’t a twenty-something person who doesn’t remember using Myspace religiously. I remember when I was first allowed to create an account; I searched diligently for all of my friends, then I ranked them according to how good of friends we were. I then set out to “define” my page. I changed the background to something that I thought best represented my personality, and then I found the perfect song to welcome anyone who came to my page. Once it was done, the shy, socially awkward farmer’s daughter had finally found her place on the World Wide Web. I finally felt a part of the vast outside world.
I kept that page until I was introduced to Facebook. After that the world of social media basically exploded in popularity. In this research paper I will be exploring the effect that social media has on our personal relationships, mainly how it affects the level of trust that is exhibited in relationships. There are several different types of trust issues that can arise from the use of social media. They are closely connected to the type of relationships that you have face to face. These relationships include intimate partners, friends and acquaintances.
Intimate relationships can include married couples, long-term relationships, and partners. There are a large number of joint Facebook accounts among intimate relationships. While some set up a joint account because it is easier to just have one, some couples set up joint accounts because there is a severe lack of trust. A friend relationship can consist of those you have known for years, and others could be a shorter-term friend. These relationships are affected by the way we interact on social media and how we represent ourselves. An acquaintance relationship can range from someone you just met to someone you purposely keep at a distance. These relationships are affected by the act of becoming friends or following each other on social media.
This research paper will attempt to answer the following questions: Are our relationships affected by how we represent ourselves on social media sites? Because people tend to put their best selves on social media do we just assume that’s what they are doing in real life? Has the wall created by social media made it so we as a society are losing the ability to effectively communicate as a society? Is social media becoming the culminating event of becoming friends? Do people find their self-worth in the number of friends/followers on social media? Has the constant need to “over” share created a society with no personal boundaries? Do we believe that people are saying what they mean or what they think people will want to hear when speaking face-to-face? Has the courtesy of thinking before you speak turned into the disservice of saying only what will make people think better of you? Are we distrustful of others because we know that we are not always truthful in our social media interactions? These questions are not exhaustive, but they cover all the relationships’ areas of trust issues.
Rationale
In recent years the networking purpose of social media has transitioned to become an I-want-to-show-off-how-great-my-life-is scheme. The mask that we hide behind through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest makes it easier to pretend we have the fabulous lifestyle that we portray. How many of us are as witty, intellectual, and philosophical as our social media feeds would suggest? Do we in everyday face-to-face conversation quote Aristotle and Socrates?
This phenomenon has created a social media verses real life cognitive dissonance. We desperately want the accolades of likes and comments on our posts. Because of this desire we post the wittiest, the most comical, the most intellectual, and the most interesting things that we can. Do these things actually happen to us? Some things might, but most of the time the events that occurred to inspire the post are not as interesting as our post might suggest.
By delving into the above stated questions, the reasons behind the need to understand the trust issues presented by social media become clear. Because social media will not be leaving our society anytime soon, we as critical-thinking humans must figure out how it is affecting our lives, not only the mental online interactions but also our physical face-to-face interactions. The questions that are presented in this paper are a sliver of what questions need to be asked when regarding to social media.
Are our relationships affected by how we represent ourselves on social media sites?
Social media is a new phenomenon; there is not a lot of literature reviewing the impacts of social media and our face-to-face interactions. There is; however, plenty of data that supports the idea that social media creates a smokescreen to hide true identities. In 2010 the documentary Catfish first came to the big screen. This is the movie that coined the term “catfished” or the process of being involved with someone who created a false identity through a social media channel. This documentary then sparked the television show by the same name. The weekly episodes highlight a person who thinks they are being “catfished”. This could be considered an epidemic. Why is there the need to create an alter ego and live vicariously through it? (Wikipedia, 2014)
If we present an exciting life online, yet our friends in real life know that we don’t go clubbing every weekend, our integrity is put into question. Can our friends trust what we put online when it doesn’t reflect what truly happened? The need to embellish our lives suggests an unhappiness, which in turn can cause those around us to assume that we are unhappy with the relationships we have with them.
Because people tend to put their best selves on social media do we just assume that’s what they are doing in real life? Is that what we do ourselves?
The author Francois de La Rochefoucauld wrote “We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.” Rochefoucauld lived in Paris in the 17th century, and yet he accurately articulated a sad truth of the 21st century. Because we are in the habit of creating an online life, we have lost the ability to distinguish between our reality and our created reality.
One big reason I believe Americans trust one another less than in previous decades is because tens of millions of us are lying every single day through profiles on Facebook and other social media – presenting partially made-up, prettied-up version of ourselves for public consumption – with a thousand false friends, doctored photos and carefully crafted quips that make us seem warmer, wiser or wittier than we really are. (Ablow, 2013)
Has the wall created by social media made it so we are losing to ability to effectively communicate as a society?
As stated previously, social media has created a smokescreen in which we hide behind; we have all become the wizard behind the curtain. Our lives are made up of tricks-of-the-eye. Through Instagram we can “masquerade” as professional photographers, the filters allow us to change our “reality”. Our photos taken of the daily life are there to prove that we are alive, but when we alter them through the filters we prove that we are “living”. We reshape our reality to what we want it to be. This is leading us as a society to lose the ability to have realistic face-to-face interactions with those around us. Because our reality has been changed, participating in “actual” communication is difficult because it forces us to accept a reality that we didn’t artificially create and thus can’t control the outcome.
Is social media becoming the culminating event of becoming friends? Do people find their self-worth in the number of friend /followers on social media? Has the constant need to “over” share created a society with no personal boundaries?
Does a simple number really determine a person’s worth? Has the desire to acquire as many friends as possible on social media sites made the relationships we create outside of social media sites void until they are confirmed on social media? Considering that most people have said the phrase “I can’t believe we aren’t friends on Facebook!” it suggests that being friends in the real world isn’t enough until your Facebook friend request is confirmed. There is also the option of literally “buying” friend; businesses do it to improve the look and presence of the company on social media, and people do it to brag about the amount of friends they have. It is common to meet someone and then the next day or even that day request to be “friends”.
Do we believe that people are saying what they mean, or what they think people will want to hear when speaking face-to-face? Has the courtesy of thinking before you speak turned into the disservice of saying only what will make people think better of you?
In the good-old days (pre-2000’s) children grew up being taught that thinking before you speak was social etiquette, creating your own social filter so as to not offend those around you. However, in the day of social media, thinking before you speak has evolved to meaning you are merely “captioning” what you are going to say so that it sounds witty and intelligent. Those that blurt out what they want to say without any pause are viewed as “more truthful” than those who pause to consider their answer.
Are we distrustful of others because we know that we are not always truthful in our social media interactions?
Do we project our dishonesty on others? A theory in psychology is that we tend to pick out the worst qualities in others that are the strongest in us. Another popular theory is that everyone lies. It can be a little white lie like telling a friend that the most recent ‘selfie’ makes them look amazing, to a larger lie like pretending to be a completely different person, possibly a made-up person. If we believe that everyone tells white lies it is easier to justify the white lies we may tell. This can also lead us to distrust everyone because our subconscious tells us that they are lying, simply because we know we would have or could have lied in the same situation.
Does the amount of social media usage directly affect your daily mood? Are you more likely to trust the world around you when you haven’t been exposed to social media platforms?
In this age of constant information flow we are affecting our moods down to the hour by our interaction on social media. We are choosing to add more media to our already overcrowded lives. The media we are choosing to introduce into our lives isn’t the media that will add substance and help us achieve our daily goals. The media we are allowing to invade our lives does nothing if not harm us.
Literature Review
Social media is relatively new. Even though it has been around for several years there is still an aura of unknown surrounding social media sites. It takes years to gather the data needed to figure out the mental and societal impacts of a new phenomenon, and there hasn’t been sufficient research to fully understand all the effects of the social media world. With each successive year there are more articles written and more research started, but the results will not be conclusive for another several years.
There is a lot of stigma about how others’ actions affect our trust of them, but what about our own actions affecting the trust we have in ourselves, in others and the trust they have in us? In a recently released survey the General Social Survey, a widely regarded source on societal trends, stated that only one-third of the people surveyed agreed with the notion that most people can be trusted, as opposed to twice that amount that were surveyed in 1972. (Ablow, 2013)What changed to bring such a radical change in the numbers? Social media, specifically Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest came to be the main mode of communication. According to Dr. Keith Ablow, this is a massive psychological problem for America, not only because it is the engine of our nation run smoothly but could also translate to a more depressed, anxious, and addicted country. (Ablow, 2013)
“As with everything else, your level of trust, or suspicion, sends a subtle message to those around you. People respond to that message in various ways, and their response will have a direct impact on your happiness and your quality of life.” (Jonathan, 2014) When either you meet a person for the first time or are talking with an older acquaintance your non-verbal communication is stronger than your verbal communication. If you are unconsciously communicating that you do not trust what the other person is saying then they in turn will not trust you, and if this happens with every interaction you are then left a person alone in the world, not trusting anyone. Why would you have any reason to not trust a person you just met or a person that you have known for a long period of time? The answer is once again, social media. Through our interactions on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest we are giving those around us a reason to distrust us through our prettied made-up version of our lives that we present for public consumption, whether we mean to or not.
Social media is rapidly and forever changing the way humans interact and communicate with each other. This change is not likely to subside at any near future point. Because we are adaptable beings we must learn how it affects us and our way of communicating.
Method
Design
For this research prospectus the design will be qualitative. The questions that are asked can’t be answered through a simple survey. They require an in-depth look at social media usage and its affects. The research will be made up of pre-experiment surveys and post-experiment surveys.
Participants
Participants will be chosen at random. The participants that will provide the best and most accurate feedback are those between the ages of 18-36. This age group provides two groups that are essential to gaining the broadest perspective: one that has known personal interaction without social media and one that has never known personal interaction without social media. They have lived in a society without social media interaction, as well as in the current society. They made the transition and have witnessed the greatest change in their interactions.
Procedure
Like stated previously the research will be based on two surveys and an experiment. The surveys will bookend the experiment. Participants will be given a survey to access their social media usage and the effects at the beginning of the experiment. They will then participate in a two week experiment where they monitor every aspect of their lives affected by social media. After the two weeks the participants will be given the same survey to see how their answers differ, as well as a couple of questions regarding their experience with the experiment.
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
1) What is your main purpose of social media interaction?
2) Does the amount of your social media usage affect your daily mood? i.e…less usage = better mood; more usage = worse mood.
3) Do you feel that those on social media “over” share their personal lives?
4) Do you feel that those on social media exaggerate their lives?
5) Does knowledge of someone’s real life affect your belief in the portrayal of themselves on social media?
6) Since the emergence of social media have you personally felt a loss in effective face-to-face communication?
7) Do you feel that people are “editing” what they say before they say it to you?
8) Are your social media posts made only when you think your audience will find it funny or like and comment on it?
EXPERIMENT
The duration of the experiment will be two weeks long.
Participants will monitor and record times and amount of time on social media.
Participants will record reactions to friend’s posts – do you think they are telling the truth as much as possible, or are they prettying it up?
Participants will provide a brief description of what they feel after each usage.
Participants will also provide a brief description of the affects their usage has on face-to-face interaction.
Participants will record whether their thoughts and reactions are different based on their social media usage.
Participants will also track what they post and record any differences in what actually happened and what they posted.
After the experiment a follow-up survey will be given with added questions.
Do you feel that your social media usage directly affects your face-to-face interaction?
Do you trust that you are getting the most accurate account of what your friends life truly is?
Are you more likely to trust your friends if you haven’t read anything on social media regarding their life?
After tracking your own posts and any “adjustments” that you make, do you think others do the same “adjustments”?
Proposed Analysis
The results were somewhat expected. Most of the people who responded hadn’t really paid attention to the affects that their social media usage has on their daily life. Before they took the survey I’m sure they were aware that there was something that bothered them about their friends post but they couldn’t quite put it into words or know why it was bothersome. After the experiment those that followed through became aware of what was going on. Because of the low return numbers the results are not credible as they are skewed. Two-thirds of those that returned the post-survey said that they mostly agreed that those who posted about their lives were not telling the complete truth. They recognized that their friends “prettied” up their posts to make them seem better and to make their lives seem better than they were. About one-third admitted to doing the same thing and also admitted that the reason they did so was so garner more likes and comments.
In order to get the most full and accurate experiment results the experiment would need to involve more participants and a longer more in-depth experiment. Despite the struggle with participant response the experiment was successful in that those who did participate were thorough.
Discussion
The most frustrating thing about the experiment was the lack of response after the experiment. I had a lot of people willing to do the survey’s and experiment but not much response after the experiment. There could be two reasons why, one being they forgot to do the experiment, or when they did the experiment they were embarrassed by the results. This made the experiment not as successful as I would have liked but still successful and enlightening.
References
Ablow, D. K. (2013). Why we don't trust each other -- millions lying on Facebook, Twitter. FoxNews.
Crichton, D. (2014). Computational Trust. TechCrunch.
Jonathan. (2014). Do You Find it Difficult to Trust Others? Advanced Life Skills.
Keith N. Hampton, L. S. (2011). Social Networking sites and our lives. Washington: Pew Research Center.
PLOS. (2013). Facebook Use Predicts Declines in Subjective Well-Being in Young Adults. France: Creative Commons Attribution.
Wikipedia. (2014). Catfish. Wikipedia.
Wkipedia. (2014). Social Media. Wikipedia.
